I Can't Escape this Hell
by Lnkpark235
Summary: Hermione looks back on some things
1. Chapter 1

I Can't Escape This Hell

Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot._

_A/N: Just so everyone knows…this is a one-shot type of thing. It only has one more chapter after this one._

She pushed open the door that led to the roof of her London flat. She felt the raindrops hit her face and soak her clothes, but she paid no attention to the weather. She walked to the edge and stepped up on to the ledge.

Hermione looked down and saw the tops of umbrellas, with colors ranging from black to polka dots of various colors. Every now and again, she saw the front page of today's newspaper. She watched as the cars drove by, not caring if they splashed someone, as long as they got to where they were going as fast as possible.

Then she looked up to the heavens and let the rain run down her cheeks. She just stood there, thinking about everything that had gone wrong in her life, the war that had taken all her friends and family. Her wreck of a life, and her horrible job with the boss she hated more than anything or anyone…hated more than even Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy…thinking of him brought a smirk to her face. After the war, she turned to him for a moment of normalcy, safety…hell even love. He had greatly surprised her when she walked up to him the week after the war; the light side had won, but with many causalities, including Harry, Ron, Ginny and the whole Weasley family, Most of the Hogwarts Staff had been killed as well, along with most students. Her family had been one of the many muggle causalities. But back to Draco. He hadn't turned her down when she asked him for a favor, to love her, if only for one night. He had accepted her and carried out her favor…but was meant to be a one night stand turned out to be much more.

_Flashback 3 weeks ago_

Hermione sat on her couch in her flat thinking of the night before, the night she had spent with Draco…her enemy. She could only imagine what Ron would say if he were alive…_'YOU SLEPT WITH WHO! Hermione…how could you? He's the enemy.'_ Yes, Ron would be absolutely livid with her. Harry would care about the consequences, but he has always trusted her judgment.

Hermione broke down in to tears with the thoughts of her passed friends, but a knock at her door shook her out of her memories. She got up and walked quickly to the door. Upon opening it, she was surprised at who it was, she had expected a sales person or something of that sort but not this. Draco Malfoy stood facing her with this unrecognizable look in his eyes.

"Hermione we need to talk." He said pushing past her.

"Come in why don't you?" she said sarcastically under her breath. "What do we need to discuss? We both agreed that last night was a one time only thing."

"I know, but…but I can't stop thinking about you. I don't know why, but no matter what I do, I can't get you out of my head." He said frantically while pacing about her living room.

"…What do you want me to do about it? I don't think I'm ready to get involved with someone yet." Hermione looked at him and sat down on the couch.

"Can't you please just give it…me a try? Please Hermione! I have no one left, and i know you don't either. If it doesn't work, we'll just go our seperate ways…please! Look at me, I, Draco Malfoy, am down on my knees begging." Draco was really on his knees. Hermione looked into his eyes and couldn't help but be pulled into his gaze, his stormy blue eyes.

"Alright Draco, but if…if it doesn't work we go our seperate ways."

The next week and a half had been great. Hermione had started living again and her and Draco could be seen almost everywhere together. But one day, her life came crashing down in front of her…again.

_A/N: well that's it for chapter one…review and tell me what you think!_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot._

_A/N: k well this is the final chapter, I might be working on another one, or maybe finishing 'Too Late', not sure yet._

5PM

Hermione came home to the flat her and Draco now shared. The lights were off and the blinds pulled, like she had left them this morning…'Draco should be home by now. Wonder where he is.' She though while opening the blinds. Hermione walked into the little kitchen and began dinner, Spaghetti and Meatballs, Draco's favorite.

When the pasta was ready and the sauce just perfect, Draco still hadn't come.

"I'll just wait till he gets home." Hermione sat down on the couch and flipped on the television.

6:30 PM

"Where is he? I wonder if he's hurt…oh I hope he's ok." Hermione said to herself, pacing back and forth in front of the windows.

"Ok Hermione," she told herself. "Pacing around the room and worrying yourself to death is not going to make him come home faster." She sat back down on the couch and grabbed the book of the coffee table and began to read. Dozing off after a few minutes.

12AM

Hermione woke with a start when she heard the front door open. She scrambled of the couch and raced to the door, but skidded to a halt when she saw the state Draco was in. His tie hung loosely around his neck, his shirt was half un-tucked from his trousers, his hair was a mess, and…

"Is that lip stick on your cheek?" Hermione walked closer to get a better look. "Whose perfume is that Draco? Cause it's most definitely not mine!"

"It's nothing Hermione, don't worry about it." Draco tried to push past her, but was to drunk to do more than budge her a few inches.

"It's nothing? Don't worry about it!" Hermione all but yelled at him. "It has to be something or else there wouldn't be someone else's lip stick and perfume all over you."

"Hermione really it's nothing just let me sit down."

"No! Go find somewhere else to stay because you're no longer welcome here."

"Hermione come on! Please!" Draco pleaded.

"NO! Take your drunk ass and go somewhere else." Hermione pushed him out of the doorway and slammed the door in his face. Locking it with the chain, just in case he did find his key.

With tears leaving wet trails down her cheeks, she made her way to her and Draco's bedroom, _'No, not mine and Draco's room…my room.' _She thought sadly as she lay down. Hermione cried herself to sleep that night, hoping that when she woke up, it would have all been a terrible nightmare.

Over the next week or so, Hermione began to get nauseous in the mornings, along with strange cravings for foods that she would never touch. The thought that she could be pregnant had run though her head many times but she refused to believe it. Finally, not being able to deny it much longer, she bought a pregnancy test and went home.

Hermione sat there with her head in her hands and the results lying on the bathroom floor. The pink plus sign looked up at her tauntingly, as if daring her to do another test. Hermione new another test would be a waste of money. She knew she would get the same result. A crack of thunder brought her out of her musings. Hermione walked out of the bathroom and came to stand in front of her large windows.

Without thinking, she grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and jotted a quick note, leaving it on the table in plain sight if anyone was to wonder why she did it. She threw open the door that led to the roof; being on the top floor she got the stairs to the roof. She ran up the stairs and pushed open the door at the top.

Hermione came to a halt as the rain and cold winds. She felt the raindrops run down her face and soak her clothes, but she paid no attention to the weather. She walked to the edge of the roof and stepped up on to the ledge.

Hermione looked down and saw the tops of umbrellas, with colors ranging from black to polka dots of various colors. Every now and again, she saw the front page of today's newspaper. She watched as the cars drove by, not caring if they splashed someone, as long as they got to where they were going as fast as possible.

She looked up to the heavens and closed her eyes. She brought her gaze down to look towards the horizon when she heard her door burst open, a few moments of silence and then more noise. Most likely whoever had read the note was now running up the stairs.

She heard the door open and the person run out onto the roof.

"Hermione! What are you doing? Get down!" It was Draco. **'Of course it's him, you twit. Who else were you expecting? Everyone else you know is dead.' **A voice came from inside her head.

She turned around and faced Draco, "I'm sorry," She whispered. "Good bye Draco." Hermione leaned back and let herself fall.

_A/N: Well I've decided to make this more than a one-shot, so I'll probably have the next chapter up y tomorrow night…Please review and tell me what you think!_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I'm getting so tired of writing this; I don't own anything but the plot…Although I wouldn't mind owning Adam from 3DG D…just kidding!_

_A/N: Well I have decided to make to make this a longer fic, and depending on my schedule, especially when school starts, I should have a chapter up everyday…maybe._

I forgot to put this in the first chapter

'_words'_thoughts or lyrics

"words"Talking

'**Words'**a voice in their head

'words' people on the radio

"Hermione!" Draco ran with inhuman speed to the edge of the roof. He reached down and prayed that he wasn't to late. His strong hand closed around Hermione's wrist.

Hermione snapped out of the trance she was in, "Oh god! Draco, don't let go! Please don't let go!" she cried.

Draco wrapped his other hand around her arm and pulled Hermione up, only to have her drop a few feet again, because of the slipperiness of her skin cause by the rain. Hermione screamed and started to panic even more.

"Hermione you have to stop squirming! If you don't stop, I'll end up dropping you!" Draco gathered all his strength and pulled her up again, this time pulling her over the ledge, causing both of them to fall to the ground.

Hermione laid on Draco's chest and sobbed. Bringing Hermione with him, Draco sat up and cradled her to his chest, rubbing gentle circles on her back.

"Come on, lets get you inside." Draco picked her up bridal style and walked down the stairs to Hermione's flat.

Draco sat Hermione on the couch and went into the bathroom to run a hot bath for her. After the water was steaming with lots of bubbles, he went out to the living room and guided her to the bath, turning and walking out of the bathroom after he was sure she wouldn't do anything more to hurt herself…and the baby.

'_A baby,' _Draco thought. _'My baby…I'm going to be a daddy…yea if Hermione doesn't kick you out again.'_

'**She won't if you tell her the whole story.'**A voice said.

'_Who the hell are you?'_

'I'm you, you twit, now like I was saying, Hermione won't kick you out if you tell her the whole story.'

'_Well how am I supposed to do that?' _Draco argued with the voice.

'I don't know…it's your head.' It argued back.

'_Well a lot of help you are.'_

'…'

'_Oh so now you decide to be quiet…Oh Merlin I'm talk to myself.'_

'Well you're not really talking…more of arguing with yourself in your head' You could hear the smirk in the voice.

'_I'm going crazy!'_

'Yes, I suppose you are.'

'_Will you SHUT UP!'_

'Fine…if you don't want me here, I'll just go. All you had to do was ask, no need for yelling.'

'_Finally! Some peace and quiet!'_

Back with Hermione

Hermione stripped off her wet clothes and slid into the steaming water. She reached over to the little table next to the tub and turned on the small radio.

'Well that was U2 with 'Vertigo'. Next up is Three Days Grace with 'Animal I Have Become'.

_I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself_

_  
So what if you can see  
The darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe  
It's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal_

This animal, this animal!

I can't escape myself  
So many times I've lied  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  


_So what if you can see  
The darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe  
It's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal_

_  
Help me believe  
It's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal_

Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell

This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal  
This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal  


_So what if you can see  
The darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe  
It's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal_

_  
Help me believe  
It's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal I have become_

"Well that was 'Animal I Have Become' by Three Days Grace. After the commercial-" Hermione began flipping through the stations and stopped when she hit the beginning of a song.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend  
I'm okay but that's not what gets meWhat hurts the most was bein' so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away  
And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do_

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go  
But I'm doing it  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends   
And I'm alone  
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved  
In my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most is bein' so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away  
And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

_What hurts the most was bein' so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away  
And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do_

(Not seeing that lovin' you)  
That's what I was tryin' to do

'That was Rascal Flatts with 'What Hurts the Most.' Hermione turned off the radio and climbed out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself. She walked to the door connecting to her bedroom and walked in.

Draco looked up when he heard a door open. Turning towards the sound, he saw Hermione standing there looking at him with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Hermione…we need to talk."

_A/N: Well that's all for now…I should have one up tomorrow night. Please leave a review, I'm all for criticism, as long as its constructive, like if you don't like something tell me why, just like you would if you liked something…if you tell me what you don't like, I can make sure I don't do the same thing in later chapters._


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